Well, among the more mundane stupid classes I have to take is a technical writing class. And being as i'm never bored with amusing the teachers, I tend to work obsidian into my homework any way I can just because it makes them go WTF, and a few are amused by it and give me bonus points for making them laugh. (Seriously though, if a teacher is grading 50 assignments and bored to tears, and yours makes them laugh, they're gonna be in a better mood and grade lighter just out of habit).
So two of the stupid assignments we were given for this class was 1. a job description, and 2. write an "unsolicited proposal" to a problem.
So i figured you all might take a laugh out of it.
And i figure a lot of people will go apeshit over the proposal topic.

Yes i do prepare briefings like this for broadband, but they're usually not full of fancy-speak in order to meet wordcounts, or prettied up. They just have a LOT of data.